Why Teachers Don't Want to Talk to You

As a parent, I go crazy when my child's teachers won't give us information. What is her average? How do you grade? Why did she get such a low grade on the video? Somehow, the teachers seem unable to impart this information.

Recently, I transferred to the high school my child attends. I have gone out of my way to post grades (with i.d. numbers) on the internet, print progress reports, email parents, meet with parents, keep the learning disability teacher, counselors, and coaches apprised as to students' progress.

You know what I get in return? Accusations, trickery, bullshit.

Case in Point: Bob, a football player, is in one of my classes. Before school started, one of the administrators pulled me aside and told me that Bob is a really great kid, had a bad year last year, but is really trying. She said Bob just needs more confidence, but late last year he was really starting to turn things around.

Very soon after school started, we had an IEP meeting (this is a meeting for students who have learning disabilities). Everyone -- football fans to a man, I'd say -- agreed that Bob was doing just wonderfully in all of his classes. Except, he was failing mine. He hadn't turned in work, and his grade was low. The teachers in this meeting asserted that Bob had "no problems" in their classes (though one did admit she had to get his homework out of his backpack for him). The IEP plan said that everyone should make every effort to help Bob be "eligible" to play football (to be eligible, players must not have two Fs two weeks in a row). I thought this was curious. Shouldn't an IEP be about how to help him learn? Hmmm.

So anyway, I get to know Bob a little better, and he's a personable kid. However, it becomes painfully clear that he is completely playing everyone. He DOES NOT TURN IN HIS WORK. He will sit in class and I can see him doing the work, and still he WILL NOT TURN IT IN. He has two friends in this class who are good students, and they spend considerable time helping him with his work, and urging him to turn it in. He lies. He says he does turn it in, but he doesn't. Many times, he will turn it in a week or two later, when everyone on earth has asked him, and he will pull it out of his backpack. The coach and the L.D. teacher spend time every week "making sure Bob does his work." I have come to see that actually, they are doing the work for him. But, see, they're not in my class, so they don't always do it correctly. At one point, the coach tells me he is sure Bob will receive full credit for a paper because his handwriting is so neat. Many times, Bob tells the coach and L.D. teacher he has turned in papers, or he is right that minute headed to my room to turn in papers, but he doesn't. He tells his mother that he turned in the papers and I just didn't "find" them yet.

During all of this, I am getting emails from the coach (several on the day before eligibility reports are due) as well as emails from the L.D. teacher. Both maintain that Bob "doesn't understand" the material. I'll grant that he may not fully understand everything we are doing. However, I break all of our skills down into small, doable, exercises, which I usually grade with a completion score. This means all he has to do is follow the instructions an turn the paper in. But he doesn't. These are not the only scores that go toward the grade, but they are a significant portion of it. At one point the coach tells me that another coach he knows told him that Bob was "playing" everybody. Huh -- I had the same thought (though I don't say so). But Coach says, "But he's NOT!"

Then I make the near-fatal mistake. After frantically grading for ten hours one weekend, I post grades on the website because I told the kids I would. Well, my grading software goes haywire. I don't notice until that Monday, when one student asks me about her grade and I realize it can't be right. I check all other classes -- no problems. I use my backup disk and restore the proper grades, then print out separate progress reports for every student so they can make sure all of their grades are correct.

Well, wouldn't you know that the mother and the coach log on and see that Bob's grade has risen magically from an F to a C. Well, I personally would question such a rise in only one week. But, of course, they think he turned in a lot of work. However, they scream and gnash their teeth at poor Bob's "excitement" at his high grade and his huge disappointment at having an F after all, and accuse me of all kinds of nefarious intentions when I explain why the C grade was incorrect. But you know what?

Bob KNEW he didn't have a higher grade. He KNEW he hadn't turned in those papers. But they can't see the simple logic that he is, once again, letting the adults do all the work.

If I hadn't posted the grades to begin with -- if I hadn't taken late work -- if I had not discussed or tried to help with Bob's problems -- I wouldn't have had the flack and accusations. Guess what? I not going out of my way again.

By the way, this is not the only incident I've suffered because of trying to give people information. Countless times, anything you say is brought back and used against you later. I've had it. No more.

(And, oh yeah, it's ALWAYS the bad students' parents. That's why you're saying to yourself, "Why, I've never done that!")